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Marriage

What a 20 Day Road Trip taught me about life & marriage

 This post begins a series I am writing about life with a Road Warrior Spouse.  I hope it will encourage and support those of you who are managing life with a spouse whose job requires them to travel frequently.

 

The Road Warrior has been on a 20-day trip away from home—with one suitcase!

Halfway through his trip we met him San Antonio and then continued on to Dallas.

Originally, our plan was that he would fly home with us and we were all looking forward to that.

Unfortunately, he has to fly to Pennsylvania for another week away and we are unable to go with him this time.

Road WarriorPhoto: (c)iStockPhoto/ Karimala

Laundry implications aside, this has been as hard on him as it is on us.

But work calls and we are grateful for his company and everything it provides our family, as well as the families of those who work for him.

His job is a blessing that neither of us  EVER takes lightly.

Fifteen years with the Road Warrior has taught me that every life, marriage and career goes through seasons.

I have friends who are currently experiencing a season of drought in their life; while others are enjoying a time of plentiful harvest.

Our family is currently in a season of planting.

We are working towards our harvest.

There is an excitement that comes with this season of  ‘planting’, but there is also the strain of not knowing when  we will experience the harvest.

However, like Oprah there is one thing I know for sure:

We are always a team and always a family.

We do life together, no matter the season.

That doesn’t change with the time zones or the number of days the Road Warrior spends on the road.

We look forward to the homecoming and the harvest.

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The fairy tale behind commitment

 

This weekend the Road Warrior and I went to a wedding to celebrate the union of two friends.  As I watched the couple exchange vows I couldn’t help but think about my own wedding and all we’ve been through in the years following.

Like me, the bride is younger than her groom.  Like me, she is marrying a man who is already a father and she will have a step daughter.  I know that road isn’t easy and  I was reminded of how naive I was as I embarked on the same path she was taking now.  I fully believed our love could conquer all.  Maybe it has, but it hasn’t been without  blood, sweat or buckets of tears.
Our friends wrote their own vows and like every detail from their amazing wedding, it was them.  Laid bare in every way.  Vulnerable. Expectant.  Filled with love and hope.  The groom’s vows alone would have gone viral on YouTube, I promise you that.  

Looking around I saw the tears well up in the eyes of many of the women in attendance, including my own.

How long had it been since my husband looked at me like that? What would I give to have him say those vows to me now?

And then I stopped thinking about myself and I looked at HER.

Was I as excited as she was to marry my husband?  Did I still look at my husband the way she was looking at hers?  Truly I don’t think she would have cared, in that moment, if any of us were there.  She only saw him.
How long had it been since I only saw my husband, and not just the things that needed to be done around the house?

 


I remembered what it felt like to feel that way about my spouse and I vowed to get that feeling back. I don’t believe it simply goes away. I believe we bury it with unforgiveness, resentment, selfishness, to do lists, and pursuits that serve no eternal purpose.  Simply put I believe it gets buried in everything we put before our spouse, including our children & ourselves.


Without a doubt I love the Road Warrior more today than I did on the day we married.  But I’m also going to reclaim my fairy tale romance with him. I’m going to start looking at him the way a bride looks at her groom.  
My wedding day 2000
There are 5 pairs of eyes watching us and making note of what marriage is. I want to show them the fairy tale behind the commitment.

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Dads say the funniest things…

While I was on my Mommy Vacation my friends were all in stitches over Big Daddy’s postings and pictures while he was holding down the fort.  If you’ve never had a Mommy vacation I highly recommend it.  It is a great way to recharge your batteries and to make sure your hubby truly understands what you go through!

Here are a few of the postings and pictures that kept me entertained while I was away!
People who like pacifiers shouldn’t throw them out of their crib!

I’m not cleaning the house by myself.  No way.  No how.

Wifey is Away. Dad and 5 kids: Fed, bathed, clothed and on the move b4 10. How do mom’s do this every day? Makes me appreciate wifey a bunch!
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10 years later we are newly weds again

I never expected to get as emotional as I did when we renewed our vows this past weekend.  After 10 years and 5 children (how many times can I work that into a sentence? I love it!) I definitely felt married. 

Lucky for me my sweet husband insisted. He was raised Jewish and as a new Christian (2 years) he wanted to renew our vows in Christ at our church with our amazing church family, friends and neighbors there to celebrate.  What started as, “Well, I want to wear my original wedding dress then” evolved into a full blown wedding with our sweet friends helping plan the events and just making it magical in every way. 

Even allowing us a “honeymoon night” while they watched all 5 kids following our dinner reception.

I have much more to say on the topic but I want to wait until we get the pictures back from our photographer.

Until then, my parting word of advice would be this:  Renew your vows with your sweetheart at 10, 15, 20 or 25 years.  You won’t believe what it will do for your marriage.

P.S
I need to update this signature line to say mom of 5!

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Wedding cake dreams

I just ordered Sylvia Weinstock’s latest wedding cake coffee table book.  She is known as the wedding cake designer—way before Cake Boss and reality TV became popular, there was Sylvia.  I cannot wait to dream up the cake I want for our renewal ceremony.  Of course we won’t have Sylvia Weinstock make it, but we’ll use her photos for inspiration and dream.

Order, Sylvia Weinstock’s Sensational Cakes for yourself!

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