I love getting Christmas cards. I can barely make it back up the driveway before I’m ripping into the envelopes. I even enjoy getting holiday newsletters. But let’s be honest here. It’s very difficult to do a good holiday letter. And by good I mean one that people don’t call up their friends to read it to and laugh about…and yes they do that. Which is just another reason why I’ve never attempted one.

If you are a glutton for punishment determined to send out a mass mailed holiday letter I would like to encourage you to follow these guidelines brought on by my years of experience reading obnoxious holiday newsletters.

Don’t list every major purchase your family has obtained (or financed) this year. That is just tacky.

You don’t need to detail every moment of your life in your holiday newsletter. Just pick one or two highlights. And while you are at it, keep it to a page or two. Less is more.

Only family cares about every little accomplishment or milestone your children passed or achieved this year. The rest of us have children (i.e. nieces, nephews, cousins, grandchildren, God children etc) in our own lives to fawn over and declare brilliant. So, unless you are the type that drives around with a “My child is an honor student” bumper sticker on your mini van, just go easy on the listing of accomplishments. List one or two big things. List a funny thing. List a self deprecating thing…but don’t list everything or you’ll risk sounding obnoxious or making your precious child prodigy look obnoxious in the process.

Don’t detail your miserable year in the holiday newsletter. If you had a rough year and we’re friends, I already know about it. Don’t be a downer. I know they say misery likes company but I say spread holiday cheer not despair. Because really, who are they anyway? People who write depressing gloomy holiday newsletters, that’s who!

And finally, if you have to start off your holiday newsletter with, We almost didn’t write a holiday newsletter this year,

Just. Don’t. Do. It.

Please, because that is a sure sign that you are then going to break every rule listed above, and then some.

Happy Holidays,